The theoreticals and theology of accountability are helpful
in understanding a framework, but as is the whole point of this blog, we want
to be applying God’s Word to our lives, and want to talk practicals.
In my previous post I laid out three points from Romans 7-8 that
give a framework for what Biblical accountability should practically look
like. Whether it is within the context
of a formal accountability partner is irrelevant, if we have life-giving
Christians friends. Instead, I think we
need to evaluate if our relationships include the following Biblical principles
that provide accountability.
1) I need to
“need” my relationships. We will not “click” with everyone. But when we find those Christian
relationships, were we are encouraging and being encouraged, we need to do all
that we can to make that time consistent and God-centered. While both BJ and I have lots going on and it
would just be easier to not to get together weekly, the reality is that we
“need” our time together.
Note that I am not simply advocating our
need to be around people. I can hang out
with lots of people without having any real relationships or experiencing true
fellowship. This happens most when I am
self-focused in my time and interactions with others.
The deeper question is really, “Do I
prioritize self over relationship?” Self says it is more comfortable to watch
the game on the TV in front of me than talk to the person next to me. Self says posting a picture of my meal on
Instagram so everyone knows what I am up to is more important than the person
across the table from me. Self says I
deserve my time to do what I want. And self says to keep up this image I can’t
tell you what is really going on. Which
leads us to…
2) I need to
be honest. It should be
self-evident, that if I want to be accountable, I need to be honest. However, we love to hide, gloss over, and give
half-truth statements to cover up how we are really doing. Accountability requires me to drop the false
pretense of how everything is going fine that I want to show to the world and
honestly asses my relationship with others and the Lord.
Consider James 5:16, a classic verse when
we think about accountability. We are
commanded to confess our sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that
we might be healed. Confession requires
honesty or it isn’t really confession (just telling your parents you didn’t do
well on the test is not the same as you got a zero because you were caught
cheating). And confession and prayer
together lead to healing. It is amazing
how BJ and I can talk for an hour together, but what I find most refreshing
each week, is our time going honestly before God saying this is what we need
You to change in our lives.
While in our pride we want to carry all our
own burdens, we need others and we have to let them know how to help. As I think the greater context of James 5:16
teaches (more to come in my next post) when you are spiritually weary, you
aren’t just supposed to hide or try to deal with it alone. We are commanded to called the elders of the
church and ask them to pray for us. We
are commanded to be honest about our condition, and seek the Lord with other
believers. And keep in mind, “the prayer
of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16)
Now being honest isn’t the end point of
accountability. There are plenty of people who congratulate themselves and
others for honesty, but honesty without direction or a heart to change is
worthless. Just admitting you have a
plank in your eye, won’t help unless you start working on removing it. Therefore, in my accountability…
3) I need to
be pointed to Christ. Accountability doesn’t end with simple confession to
another believer, but my sin or my desire to see God work more in my life needs
to end up at Christ in the Gospel.
Accountability is not confession that leads to condemnation, but like
Christ be full of both grace and truth (John 1:14).
When we see a brother in sin, we are
commanded to “gently restore” that brother (Galatians 6:1). Practically speaking, I need relationships
where I am real and honest, so people can see into the sin in my life.
It is then their responsibility to point
out my faults in a gentle way that acknowledges that they are fallible as well
(so they don’t fall into sin). I need
help understanding that I am totally and completely forgiven, and as such, I do
not want to grieve the Holy Spirit inside me (Ephesians 4:30).
We should never leave a time with a brother
feeling hopeless and defeated, but rather motivated and compelled by the love
of a merciful Father to be pure and serve Him fully.
Note that I am not saying that giving another Brother in
Christ a list of 5 questions you want to be asked is a bad thing, but I think
if these 3 principles are being lived out, your relationships will naturally
hold you accountable and push you in your relationship with the Lord.
While we are ultimately only accountable to God and will
stand before Him to give an account for our deeds (2 Corinthians 5:10), we have
not been called to live the Christian life alone. We want to make sure we are not just
pretending to have Christian friends, but taking those friendships to the
depths that will really stretch and encourage our faith.
As I have been reflecting on this topic over the past few
weeks, it just strikes me over and over, how much I receive life from people
when I hear both the good and bad things happening in their lives, when I pray
with them, when I share my struggles with them, when I experience an authentic
fellowship with them, etc. Whether it is formal “accountability” or not, I
don’t know, but it keeps me pursuing my Maker and Redeemer.
