After writing and thinking about Biblical accountability
(see my previous posts on the Foundations and the Practice of Accountability)
it still seemed like there were some unanswered questions out there for my own
life, especially on how I would counsel someone. Below
are a few more thoughts on accountability:
1) I would love someone to hold me accountable and point me to Christ, but I don’t
really have any friends I trust or who are willing. What should I do?
As I mention in my first post, relationship
precedes accountability. Just a list of
questions that we ask each other really isn’t Biblical accountability.
I remember when I was first challenged in
High School that I needed an accountability partner. I freaked out, because I
just didn’t have close friends. I knew
it would be helpful, but I just didn’t have the right friend.
But instead of working towards
relationships where accountability could happen, I just gave up because I
couldn’t have it now. Real
accountability relationships take time.
Don’t be discouraged that you don’t have them now, but instead consider
how you can work towards them.
Initiate time with people who are also
believers desiring to grow in their faith.
When you are with them, initiate real conversations with them. Talk to them about the Word. Ask them questions about their faith journey
and what God is teaching them, not just about football. As the relationship
progresses, study the Bible with them.
Ask them how you can be praying for them, and pray with them.
It will take time, and you may need to pursue
multiple people, but it is well worth the effort. Relationships don’t happen overnight, so
don’t be discouraged and don’t give up if it doesn’t happen on your time
schedule.
2) My
Christian friend always seems to be struggling with or complaining about the
same thing. He says he wants a sin
pattern to change, but week after week it is still the same old thing. How do I help?
Once I was holding someone accountable
weekly in the area of pornography, but he just seemed stuck. Week after week, I would ask the question
almost knowing the response in advance.
He would be frustrated with himself, we would come up with a new rule to
help, but it was still the same thing.
Looking back, I can see three things that eventually helped pull him
out:
First, he was willing to do anything to subdue
his lust. He didn’t accept defeat, but
every thing I suggested he was willing to try. I eventually even took parts of
his computer. But some people don’t want
to change, and if you sense that is their case, it does come to a point where
you need to challenge them and ask them if they really want to change. Are they willing to put the work into seeing
God change their life?
Second, we prayed a lot together and I
prayed for him a lot. As James 5:16
says, we should confess then pray for each other, so that we may be
healed.
Third, I would constantly remind him about
God’s grace. We read through books about
grace (e.g., Ragamuffin Gospel). We read Scripture about grace. He
was someone who built his identity on his performance, and so we studied a lot
about God’s grace. Again, he was great
at taking every one of these assignments, and praise God that His Word does not
return void (Isaiah 55:11).
After probably 6 months, he came to me one
day and said, “You know for the first time I think I understand God’s
grace.” And it was amazing to see the
way his understanding of grace changed the power sin had over his life. It wasn’t an easy fight, but it was one where
he eventually saw victory.
3) Would
you Alcoholics Anonymous or something similar as a form of accountability?
First of all, there is a lot that I
respect about AA. In the AA meetings I have been to, there is a deep care for
each person there, a welcoming non-judgmental environment, a celebration over
sobriety, and a commitment to each other.
I definitely see how AA, Celebrate Recovery, or a similar affiliate
could be part of the solution for someone dealing with addiction.
That being said, it seems that the focus of
AA was just treating the symptom of alcoholism, and not the underlying causes
that lead people to alcoholism. While human effort and determination can heal a
lot of symptoms, it cannot deal with the underlying brokenness we all
face. True healing can only be found
when we really deal with the causes with the Gospel.
I would certainly not discourage
participation in AA or similar program, but I would partner it with counseling
or another set of deep relationships that help with the inner healing that is
also necessary.
4) Is
James 5:13-18 talking about physical or spiritual healing?
Sorry that this response is way more “technical”,
but I think this passage is crucial to understand Biblical accountability.
I think James 5:13-18 interpreted by many
to only be about God healing our physical infirmities; however, I think the
entire passage is all about spiritual issues.
For example in verse 14, when the “sick” are instructed to ask the
elders to pray for them to be healed, I don’t think “sick” refers to physical
illnesses, but spiritual weakness.
While the Greek word a,sqe,neia (translated as “sick”) is used to mean physical
illness in the Gospels and Acts (e.g., Matthew 8:17, Luke 5:15, John 5:5, Acts 5:15) its major use in the Epistles is a spiritual weakness (e.g., Romans 6:19,
1 Corinthians 8:9-12, Hebrews 4:15). It carries the real meaning that the
person is weary. This is further
supported by the use of
ka,mnw in verse
15 (translated as “the one who is sick”). Its
only other use is in Hebrews 12:3, where it is clearly talking about not
growing spiritually weary in our lives.
Thus our pray offered in faith for
someone who is spiritually struggling (James 5:15), God promises to work in his
life to restore Him. Because God has
promised to act in this way, we are commanded to confess to each other and pray
for each other for healing. James 5:16
is not a random one liner, but remember that it starts with “Therefore”.
Further, James exhorts us to
remember the power of prayer when he reminds us of the power of Elijah’s
prayers. The prayer of a righteous man
is powerful and effective (James 5:17).
The point of all of this is to once
again remind us (especially me) of the importance of prayer when we want to see
change in our lives or in the lives of those we care for. It is not just by human effort and asking
each other a couple questions each week that bring about healing, but consistent
and faithful prayer for the Lord’s power and grace to come alive within us.
